Some of you may know, I have a lot of dreams and my late friend Penny is often in them. Recently I had another dream with Penny at a beauty pageant. I have never been in a beauty pageant, but for some reason my subconscious processed this dream this way.
In this blog, I wanted to show you how spirit works through us to process and learn about our unconscious aspects. So I thought I ‘d share this dream and how spirit has recently worked with me to understand the messages from this dream and where it lead me to gain more understanding. I have been struggling to expand my spiritual work and also processing a big life issue in which I was a victim as a child.
The dream started with me looking in the mirror with my hair pulled up in a high pony tail, very long & blonde. As I looked at myself in the mirror I felt good and could see my beauty. I was somewhat surprised as pulling all my hair back off my face was not a style I liked for myself. When I looked again, my face was not completely my own, but it was pretty and I felt happy. With my hair fixed and dressed in a formal which seemed to be my high school Sr. year prom dress, I left and headed to the beauty pageant feeling very good about myself. When I arrived to the auditorium, I met up with my friend Penny. I once again checked my hair and it had loosened up and was hanging down around my face and again I loved it. Penny helped me to refresh my hair in a few places and then suggested we go out to sit in the auditorium to wait until the pageant started. We sat in the far back row right corner from the stage and watched as some audience members began to arrive. As the auditorium filled up we watched the other contestants practice their talents and I felt like I didn’t know what my talent was and was stressed about what I would do. I slowly started to pick myself apart in all the ways I thought I was not measuring up to the other contestants. Next I noticed my two high school basketball coaches enter the auditorium and they were going to be judges. I then felt more like I wouldn’t win because they would select Penny over me as she was more popular with them than me. Penny then suggested we go back stage and get ready to start the pageant. Of course, being 6’1″ tall, everyone noticed me as we walked out and I had mixed feelings about being seen and how I wouldn’t win because I was too tall.
Back stage there were lots of other pageant contestants bustling around. In the retail pageant stores I noticed these nice leather coats and then noticed some of the other contestants wearing them which indicated to me they had been on the circuit for a while and were more experienced than me. Then I noticed that several of them had these beautiful, expensive sequenced formals on and in comparison my dress was below average. I then realized I forgot to bring any make-up to freshen up before the pageant started & overall I felt like I hadn’t planned well and was overwhelmed. Then I woke up feeling very unprepared and below average in comparison. I had gone from feeling beautiful and balanced to nit picking myself into failure.
As I lay in bed waking up, I heard the word “Shame.” I was not sure how this dream was connected to shame, so I got my Oracle cards out and drew this card: “Shining Through.” The essential meaning of this card is – Self-expression without filters or masks, authentic communication, being proud of who you are, shining in the world. Refusing to make yourself small just to belong. After writing all this in my journal, I went to listen to an online seminar with Collette Baron-Reid & Astrologer Colin Bedell on Spiritual Cord Cutting. One aspect of the seminar they presented what to let go of and how to self repair according to your Moon sign in your Astrological Chart. They also said to pay attention to information that might apply to you even if it isn’t your Moon sign. It was when they talked about “Virgo” I heard – let go of perfectionism, it is motivated by shame.” BINGO, a message from spirit about my dream!
Then I had a conversation with a friend about our perfectionistic mother’s growing up. My mother, who I love dearly and is one of the kindest people I know was a perfectionist when it came to house cleaning and a few other things. As an adult I didn’t carry on the house cleaning perfectionism, but recognize patterns I have found myself correcting and controlling how things are done if they are not how I would do it or to my expectations. I have worked really hard to let that go and to appreciate how others do things, learn from them and appreciate their efforts. But in my conversation, I realized this need for control in perfectionism shames others efforts and in return brings me shame of self. A clear example of how the inner self is reflected back at you through your world. To shame others for not doing things to your standard by correcting them & self-criticism for not measuring up.
That night I had another dream which I won’t go fully into, but I had a sack of rattle snakes and they got loose in someone else’s house. In the dream, I knew these people & I worked with them, but they are not anyone I know in real life. We caught the snakes and it turned out they weren’t rattle snakes after all. But I felt shamed for having let the snakes out in these people’s house & for confusing the type of snake. I went outside and there were these men flying around on these TV camera lifts who had these play guns and they were shooting at me. After I woke up, I drew another card “Exposed and Revealed. The essential meaning of the card is healing shame, (yet again “Shame!”), the imposter syndrome, letting go of self-condemnation, freedom from the past unresolved wounds, focusing on self-worth, the underlying beauty in rejection. This card goes on to talk about how you experience shame when you have done something wrong, you also feel like you are wrong. It talks about using shame as an opportunity for growth, evolution and letting go of control. Everything so far continues to build upon the previous.
Then last night, I could not sleep, so I decided to open my “LLEWELLYN’S Little Book of Dreams” by Dr. Michael Lennox. I have not read this book in weeks. I opened it at the book mark and began reading about dreams of flying. It talked about gravity also and then said “there is a waking-life symbolic meaning associated with gravity that must be taken into consideration when interpreting a dream with flying as a key feature, and that is shame.” It went on to describe how shame is a part of society, family and how it is heaped upon us! And reminded me of the small town I grew up in. Everyone knew everyone and each other’s business, plus some fabrication of your story. More information for me to understand my shame which has empowered my need for perfectionism, privacy and control.
I hope you can see from what I have shared, how spirit can work through you and your life to help you understand things when you ask for help and more understanding to the dreams, meditations, communications you may receive. Although I have not deeply illustrated the full information and what I have processed, I am clearly on a path to healing. In this process of messages, it is important to be honest with yourself about these experiences and to avoid making some experiences into more than they are. That can be an act of sabotage and denial toward seeing/hearing truth. But when you have duplication of a message you are trying to understand, take it and use it to understand your struggles or problems presently in your life. Keep yourself open to it and trust spirit to lead you to understanding and healing.
In closing, lets draw a card to see what it is all the perfectionist out there need to know at this time to release and heal. I drew a card from the Enchanted Map by Collette Baron-Reid: “Magic Prayer” in protection mode (upside down.) The book for this deck says: Magic Prayer reversed is a sign that you mistakenly believe that your way is the only way. Could the path you’re on be leading to a place of regret, or could you be persuing something that just isn’t good for you? It goes on to say in a matter of words that you should pray and meditate on your highest good and the highest good of all. I say, also ask for guidance with your actions to be for your highest good and the good of all. Look at the non-action in your life because your perfectionism stops you before you get started. Ask to be shown your authentic self and have the confidence to be that person. Let go of comparison and accept that each of us has the ability within ourselves to be a leader of some magnitude. Perfectionism can be a very valuable asset in your life if you can identify it as super power, your refined, above average skill that separates you from others. Then find a way to use it to succeed and let all the lower energy aspects go. There is no need to shame yourself or others. Let go of control and let others shine. To empower others is to empower yourself. Let other’s super powers shine through, trust them and take the burden of control off your plate so you can put more energy into your own super power skills to benefit your life for the good of all.
Peace and Love, Susan
Cards and guidebooks used for this blog were from the “Oracle of the 7 Energies” & “Enchanted Map” by Collette Baron-Reid.
My webpage link: http://giftedtruths.com