I am most happy when I am in a neutral place both mentally and emotionally. Where I can just go through my day to see things as they are without any further thought or emotion. Not accepting or judging, just seeing it as it is. It gives me objectivity to accept people where they are in their process in life and allows me to acknowledge what I need to pray &/or meditate for to empower healing and balance for myself and others. I believe this state helps people to accept themselves and release what may be triggering them more efficiently. I strive to listen to venting, but not empower the imbalanced perspectives that may be included. We all need to vent to process. It is how the vent ends that indicates if it served it’s purpose or not. I try to hear myself when I vent and recognize my part in the incident and acknowledge how I can change that moving forward. Take responsibility where responsibility lies without blame. Not build more anger or dislike to the situation. Again, as I have said many times, how we feel inside ourselves is what the world mirrors back to us. If we buy into our victim in situations without responsibility on some level, we continue down the victim path in life. To see and acknowledge from a neutral place is like the silent observer without attachment. When we can remove ourselves from our own situation mentally and emotionally, we often open our vision to see things more clearly. After processing we realize sometimes how we triggered a situation without intention. It is a wonderful place to be, free of triggers and negativity. And hopefully bringing balance to others.
I hear a lot people say (I have before as well), “the 2 things I don’t talk about is politics and religion. Those conversations don’t belong here or on social media.” Oddly enough, in my observation, those are usually the most easily triggered conversations when they do happen. Is it because we don’t talk about it and when we do, we are so deep into our own beliefs we can’t accept an opposing opinion? The first round of discussion can easily be the most emotionally triggered. Afterward we all feel differently, anger or judgement at the person we had the discussion with, maybe guilt for being mean/rude/controlling or angry at ourselves. How we see the aftermath is critical in many ways. I try to continue to find empathy for the person I just had this experience with and ask that I may be given the opportunity to reproach it from a more balanced, curious, open minded space. The goal should be to hear what each person believes, not to try to change them. There is nothing more motivating than to hear new information and to explore it whether it be right or wrong to your own beliefs. But to discard and discredit it automatically doesn’t allow for truth to evolve. You may be right and the other person may be opened to hear something they have been misled on or vise versa. There is always a meeting in the middle place that I feel is important to produce change and evolvement. And for each of us to realize just how much judgement we do have on those that believe differently than us. In having a discussion, it can open us to see how we make opposing opinions wrong rather than praying that truth prevail. And usually we receive new truths and so do they. But most importantly, we realize that we all are in a different place in life, vibrating at a different frequency. Mixing and matching those vibrations with the hope of truth can make this world a better place.
Try a day of neutrality, neither agreeing or disagreeing, just hearing. And then at the end of the day, pray for truth, healing and balance. See what happens as a result of it. Make note of your internal reactions when being neutral. And be sure to journal so you can be reminded of the place you started and evolve toward.
Let’s draw a card and ask: What do I need to know to heal my differences in conversations? I drew a card from “Wisdom of the Oracle” by Collette Baron-Reid. The card is: “Between Worlds” – the essential meaning is: Transitions, not being quite out of the one situation and fully engaged in another, temporary blindness, no man’s-land. The book goes on to say: Between the worlds is where you must let go of the tendency to make assumptions. This is the time when you are unable to see what is ahead. Cultivate curiosity and trust the process of change and growth. In this place you are done learning the lessons of the experience that have just passed. In this place, between what was and what will be is a state of making and unmaking and making again. You are encouraged to see the curious eye of a child seeing a rainbow for the 1st time.
This information brings to my mind when we talk to people we strongly disagree with on something we have just been through and learned our own solution and so have they. When we both came out with differing strategies which oppose one another on some level. We want to illustrate why our strategy is the correct one in our debate and why their strategy is wrong or point out it’s faults. Rather than ask questions, be curious where they got their information and explore the pros and cons of our outcomes together. We may still disagree, but we will have learned more about where the person is coming from. The outcomes of our decisions usually illustrate a bigger picture with history. To share our experiences most often teaches us something moving forward. To do it without triggering a disagreement & sarcasm is something to strive toward. And better than empowering dissent and wedging distance. In the end, we all can pray that we all find our truth, healing and balance. It can help to open ourselves and others to see what we are blind to. And hopefully empower us for round two, each round more productive while maintaining and building friendship.
Peace & Love, Susan